Blog 22 - Why has my grief resurfaced? Were there interruptions in your grieving process?
Blog 21 - 19/03/2018 - Is there a younger part of you with too much power in your decisions and thought processes today?
Ever have moments throughout certain days or weeks when you feel quite young for your age? Maybe when you’re worried about something or find yourself in a situation where you feel quite vulnerable? Often when we are caught off guard we move into functioning from a younger part of ourselves, hence the valnerable feeling, and this can raise anxiety levels within us.
We hear people talking about the “living in the here and now” or “being grounded”, “keeping our feet on the ground” and “being in the moment” and living this way is a great way to be, however it is much easier said than done!
Life is fast paced and constantly changing, we are accessible to everyone and every situations via technology and it can sometimes be almost impossible to live in the moment. A perfect example of this is when your driving from A to B and when you arrive you don’t remember the journey, it happened automatically. The opposite is when you are driving somewhere new and your fully aware, alert and concentrating.....your in the “here and now”.
So what part of ourselves do we function in on a regular basis without even knowing?
If you find yourself thinking about past events most of the time you are functioning in younger parts of yourself, if you feel quite uncomfortable a majority of the time it’s likely you are functioning from a much younger part of yourself and this could lead to anxiety, and if the anxious feeling is constant, fear usually builds on anxiety then your caught in a distructive cycle.
As children we rely on our cares to help with feeling secure and content, our cares support us if we get something wrong or make a bad decision and we learn from our mistakes with their support. Our reliability changes over time, from leaning on our cares to relying on ourselves, but if we don’t gain this skill it can result in all sorts of different outcomes in our lives.
The outcome of living through our younger selves can result in making mistakes through, decision making, emotional vulnerability, childlike behaviours and communication, lack of forethought in planning, catastrophic thinking, over thinking, distructive risk taking and relationship issues. And yes, while you might come across as a fun loving person to be around.....as you get older you find the gap between your peers, life circumstances and events become more difficult to manage on emotional levels.
So how do we become aware of our younger selves having too much power in our lives today?
Becoming aware is the first step, pause throughout your day and ask yourself how old your feeling? We all feel around 20 to 25, even if your in your 80’s this is true, but look back over your day and ask yourself how old was I emotionally when I was dealing with that situation, did I over think that event, did I second guess the outcome and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be? Did I get caught up in a situation with people functioning in their younger selves too?
If we reflect on ourselves on a regular basis our awareness automatically shifts us into the “here and now” and the more time we can spend “in the moment” the more we live in the real world, where there is little room for fears from the past and present to exist.
Give it a go for a week and keep a journal of how you are feeling. It can help to use an elastic band loosely around your wrist or something of your choice to help trigger your awareness. I think you’ll be surprised by the results.